femke's space

If only

2010-03-08T18:19:00.002+02:00

If only you would have been younger, I could have made you understand why I was unable to live up to your expectations. If only I would have been braver I could have told you just what I meant by not being ready to commit. If only times were different we could have been happy for a while. If only you weren't so stubborn you would still be alive today. I love you, stupid!

questions and answers

2007-06-07T21:46:00.000+03:00

Dear readers

It has been way too long since my last post but I won't even start apologizing for it. So, where have I been, what have I been doing and why have I been doing these things at that specific location? Lot's of questions for one post but I'll try to answer all of them.
Question #1: Where have I been?
Answer # 1: I've packed up my things (and my cat) and moved to Utrecht.

Question#2: What have I been doing?
Answer #2: I've been packing and unpacking all of my belongings. I never concidered myself to be a very materialistic person but while packing my stuff I remembered I only needed 10 boxes to put them in when I went to Hilversum and now I was looking at at least 30 boxes. I went through my things one more time to try to get rid of some of them. Then the worst shock came: I actually felt like I needed all of those things so I ended up moving all 30 boxes (and loads of furniture) to Utrecht.

Question #3: Why have I been doing these things at that specific location?
Answer #3: Well, to tell you the truth, Hilversum and I just didn't get along anymore so we'd decided to split up. Also the situation at bakerstreet was getting worse every day since Mr. Marcel "the rat" B. came up with a wide range of "freaks 'n geeks" whenever a room was available in our house. So in the end we had an unemployed drug-addicted 18 year old criminal girl living downstairs at the back (with two dogs, a cat and some kind of unemployed drug-addicted boyfriend on 16m2). And two really, really dumb (the correct dutch connotation here is "te stom om te poepen") alcoholics with a slight anger problem in the downstairs apartment. I've actually felt guilty about not telling the new tenant about his new neighbours.
But I decided not to think about Hillywood too much and just enjoy Utrecht for now.

Spring in my head

2007-03-26T16:04:00.000+03:00

Dear readers
My last post was somewhat depressed but I'm over that now so you can all stop sending me flowers, cards and valium (thanks by the way). How did I get past my depression? Well, it's not really something I did, something happened: the sun started shining. The moment the sun broke through those depressing grey clouds, my head cleared as well. Suddenly everything looked much better: my room wasn't really depressing anymore (after I cleaned the windows), flowers started growing everywhere, people are less cranky and even the grass between the tiles looks greener. I decided it was time to put all my sweaters and jackets in a bag and put them somewhere out of sight and fill my closet with t-shirts and shorts. Unfortunately the temperature isn't really keeping up with all the sunshine so now I have a terrible cold. But even that doesn't spoil my mood! I feel like having icecreams and smoothies and going to the beach all day. Also I get the urge to clean things. So far I cleaned my windows, the bathroom, the fridge and the ashtray. My cat is also infected with spring-madness.The last few days she's been running around like crazy catching flies and other insects. She only sleeps 10 hours a day, usually she needs around 16 hours of sleep. And this morning when I opened the door to let her out, there was a huge male cat waiting for her on the doorstep so with all that catching flies she also managed to find herself a boyfriend, YOU GO GIRL!!!!

Grumpy old me

2007-03-12T18:25:00.000+02:00

Dear readers

Today his a historical day. Today's the last day of my 26th year of life. Tomorrow my 27th year will start so I believe it's time to reflect on some of the highlights of the past year. Exactly one year ago I was working on my bachelorthesis and I was wondering if I would ever graduate my bachelorprogram. I did graduate so now I'm writing my masterthesis and I wonder if I ever graduate from university. So you see, nothing has changed really. I still live in Hilversum and I still hate it but I'm too lazy to go and look for another place to live. I still work at the supermarket and for the fourth year in a row I decided that this year will be my last year there. I still download application forms for really cool graduation programs at universities all over europe but I never fill them out. I'm still planning my trip to australia and indonesia but I know I'll probably never go.
The problem is that I keep postponing these things. I just think of them as something in the future, something I might do when I'm a grown-up, graduated, etc. Today the truth hit me: I am an adult, the future is now. In a few years I'll be way too old for these things so I have to do this now. The problem is that I don't really want to do all these things now. I want them to be dreams for the future. So today I decided to set some goals for myself. Next year I'll be graduated from university, I'll no longer be working in a supermarket, I'll no longer be living in Hillywood. And I sure as ... won't be postponing my dreams for the future. SO today I downloaded my 13th applicationform. This one's for the Humboldt University in Berlin. I actually filled it out and I sent it to the application office. So in one year I'll be in Berlin, studying my ass of. And if I'm not in Berlin I'll be in Prague, London, Vienna or anyplace else, BUT DEFINETELY NO LONGER HERE!!!

Berlin, poor but sexy

2007-03-06T17:12:00.000+02:00

Being so bored I forgot to tell you about my trip to Berlin this weekend!
Here's the complete account:
We, Fleur and myself, left Hilversum on fridaymorning. We took the train to Amersfoort and from there the IC 140 to Berlin. We had first-class tickets because we booked too late and the second class was full. After a 6 hour travel we arrived at Berlin hauptbahnhof somewhere around 6 pm. Thank god our former downstairs neighbour Richard was waiting for us there because the station alone was big enough to get lost in for days. I was told it's the biggest railway station in Europe and it definately looks more like a shopping mall than a railway station. We took the subway to Prenzlauerberg and checked in to our hostel. The hostel was called Alcatraz but from the outside it looked more like a crack house in a New York City getto. Inside, the ambiance was better although it took me some time to get used to the chaotic paintings on the walls, ceilings and stairs. We got up to our 4th floor room, no elevator of course, and dropped of our bags. We had dinner with Richard and Janine at their really cute apartment a few blocks from the hostel. Saturday morning we woke up early and decided to have some breakfast at the bakery a few metres from the hostel. Since our german is very bad and the bakery's owner did not speak any english, I was very surprised that we got exactly the breakfast we ordered. We took the subway to the center and bought a map of Berlin. Armed with the map, we set out on foot and walked miles and miles through the city. We saw the reichstag, brandenburger tor, the library, the university, the Dom, the bodemuseum and all kinds of neat buildings. We decided to take a boat trip on the Spree to see some more of Berlin. For the first 15 minutes of the trip Fleur and I were the onlyones aboard so we got a lot of attention from the captain. He noticed our dutch speech and therfore welcomed us aboard of the Prins Willem Alexander for a nice trip through the Amsterdam canals. After the boat trip we went to checkpoint Charlie. For tourists in Berlin, this seems to be the place to be. We fought ourselves through groups of Japanese and American tourists to find that checkpoint Charlie consists of a) a sign above the pavement (you're leaving american territory), b) a small peace of Berlin wall c) a small guarding stand in the middle of the road and d) a vast amount of souvenir shops ( I kind of liked the name of the fastfood restaurant 'snackpoint charlie'). After this deception, we went to our favourite original german coffeehouse: Starbucks. After that we went to the hostel and had a little nap. We ate at Richard and Janine's and then went to a party of some of their friends at the other side of the city. On sunday we checked out of the hostel, went to the flee market, some really, really cool shops and walked around Prenzlauerberg some more. Then we went to the station and got the train back home.
To conclude my story, here's some striking features of Berlin

The most annoying people in Berlin are dutch
All dutch tourists in Berlin think they're the only dutch people in Berlin
You can drink anywhere: on the streets, on the subway etc. so you see lots of people walking around with bottles of beer
There are lots of unemployed people hanging around in subway stations all day/night
All of those people own huge German sheperd dogs
You can have a good breakfast for 3 euro's.
The beer's great
Public transport is cheap and great
Berlin: arm aber sehr, sehr sexy

As bored as a cat on a rainy day

2007-03-06T16:55:00.000+02:00

Dear readers

You don't need to tell me anymore that it has been a while since my last post, I allready know. I've been really busy with stuff and I kind of forgot about my blog. Today, however I'm really, really bored. Not that I don't have work to do, there's always schoolwork, but I just don't feel like doing it. So I've been cruising the net all day trying to find something exciting to do. I've found nothing worth mentioning though. The weather is terrible so I don't feel like going outside. I even decided to have bread and peanutbutter for dinner tonight so I won't have to go to the supermarket. My cat is also bored. On days like this she won't go outside to play so she keeps complaining at me like I can make it stop raining. I've been observing my cat all day and I have to say that I admire her coping strategies. She's been really busy today. This morning she nagged about going out to pee by biting my toes. Later she wrecked my newspaper out of sheer frustration. Then she decided to cool of a bit upstairs by scratching the last bit of paint of the walls. Then she started eating the curtains and finally dozed of on my laptop (I'm still picking hairs out of the keypad). Now she's back to threatening birds at the window, a very healthy occupation for a cat. Maybe I should do some of that threatening business too, it should make me feel better.

exciting story #10 Einstein's Time Theory

2006-10-15T12:44:00.000+03:00

Dear readers, (especially those who have had their tonsils removed last week)
As so many of you have pointed out, I've broken my promise regarding the two-weeks time limit.
I therefore say to all of you: Time is but a relative factor. As my friend Albert Einstein has stated:

"Despite our common perception that a second is always a second everywhere in the universe, the rate at which time flows depends upon where you are and how fast you are traveling"

Thanks to Albert I can now explain myself. I've been traveling very fast the past few weeks. Therefore my perception of time has been different than yours. For me it has been less than two weeks since my latest post. In fact: it has only been three days. So what has made me travel so fast? Surely, it has not been the NS (dutch railway association). It must have been my busy schedule. The past few days (or weeks, as you've probably perceived them) I've been working my way through a vast number of assignments, exams and presentations. The problem is that the busier you get, the faster time seems to flow, the less time you have to complete your work. I therefore suggest that in University programs, Einstein's relativity theory should be taken into account when making schedules. That means that the time-table should be less rigid. It is my strong belief that if a student could work his way through the educational system at his own pace (and perception of time) this would greatly benefit the efficacy of education.

exciting story # 9 King of excuses: what really happened

2006-09-20T20:33:00.000+03:00

Me: My name is Femke and I'm a blogger.
You: Welcome Femke
Me: It has been 5 months, 2 weeks, 5 days and 3 hours since my last post
You: [ loud roaring applause]
Me: It's not that I didn't want to write, but I just couldn't find the time. Oh, okay, I did have the time but nothing really exciting happened. Or maybe exciting things did happen but I couldn't find the words to describe them to you. Or maybe that's a lousy excuse too.
The thing is: I just don't know why I haven't updated my blog on a regular basis but I promise you all to change my ways and post at least once every two weeks. How's that for a start?
You: It's a start, but no more than that.
Me: Okay, so what do I have to do to make you forgive me for not posting exciting stories the past few months?
You: You can start by giving us an update on your life over the past months.
Me: Okay, I can do that! Listen carefully, I shall blog this only once! There has been a new person in my life. She's soft, furry and cute and goes by the name Minoes. Minoes and I have been living together for the past 4 months and we are doing very well. The weirdest thing about having a cat is that you suddenly feel responsible for a living creature. For somebody who can't even manage to keep a cactus alive that's a big thing. But Minoes has been alive and kicking like crazy for the past months so I think I have found a hidden talent.
You: So you got a cat, how boring. Tell us something more exciting.
Me: Okay, let me see...... Ehm, I moved into another room.?!
You: Boring!!!
Me: What else?.....Ow, yeah. I got knocked up by an alien and we got engaged last week.
You: really?
Me: No.
You: okay, let's cut the crap. You have one last chance before we ignore your blog forever.
Me: But there's just nothing more to tell you!
You: So nothing really happened?
Me: Nothing worth mentioning.
You: Well, when do you think you can write us something exciting again?
Me: Let me see, ehm, maybe next week?
You: Sounds good to us.
Me: Thank you. And thank's for listening.
You: Anytime.....

Exciting story # 8 railway wrack

2006-03-31T17:49:00.000+03:00

Dear readers. Today I've had an encounter with one of the most ridiculous dutch phenomena: railway vandalism. I was traveling from Zwolle to Amersfoort by train. That's a 45 minute journey so I had taken out my new favourite book (a Game of Thrones, by George Martin) and read for the major part of the journey. Suddenly it felt as if something large and heavy was shoved underneath my compartment. I heard a loud bang and almost instantly the engineer performed an emergency stop. I heard the brakes on my compartment rattle, which isn't the sound they are supposed to make, and when the train came to a stop it felt as if the compartment was lifted from the track. After a few seconds a railway employee came in and told us to leave our seats and follow him into the next compartment. After a few minutes the engineer informed us that we had supposedly hit a concrete block and that the train was too badly damaged to continue with the journey (the train was bound for Rotterdam) . The good thing was that we were only a few hundred metres away from the station and the engineer was able to take us there on a slow pace. After I got off the train I was able to take a look at the damage. Five out of eight compartments were severely damaged: the air pressure tanks were leaking, some windows were broken and we lost part of a wheel. I took a bus to Hilversum and decided that only very disturbed people would ever even think of putting a large object on the track. I came up with some alternatives for those who feel the need to do such a thing:
1) get a job
2) get a life
3) start a toy- train collection
4)blow up things in your backyard (no living objects!)
5)if you still feel the need to put concrete blocks somewhere: become a contracter and do something useful for a change

exciting story #7 partially unemployed me

2006-02-21T21:32:00.000+02:00

Dear readers. It is my sad duty to inform you of my recent lack of discipline and insufficient work morale. After 8 weeks of interviewing innocent consumers on various subjects (cars, inernet usage, newspapers and, my personal favourite: bananas) I quit my beloved job at Telder's. It was neither the verbal harassment by the respondents, nor was it the yelling episodes of a certain supervisor that caused me to give up. It was the lack of challenge and stimulation that finally got to me. Every shift lasted 4 hours without a break and I got bored after about one hour so the last three hours were a disaster. I worked 2 shifts in a week so for 6 hours every week I was so bored time seemed to go 10 times slower. It was simple maths that persuaded me to quit in the end. If time goes 10 times slower for 6 hours a week that's 60 hours a week. If I had continued to work there it would have meant that I would have spent 60 x 52 = 3120/24 = 130 days of my life in misery every single year! I believe this would have had a serious effect on my mental health as well as my mood. My mood affects the wellbeing of people around me. And since I work in a supermarket, my mood affects a whole village. The people in that village work all over the country so my mood affects the entire Netherlands. And, as the laws of globalisation tell us, no country stands alone. Every country is part of a global network so my mood affects the entire world. So, dear readers, I did not just quit my job last week, I actually brought humanity closer to world-peace. But I'm a humble person so no need to give me the Nobel peace prize. Just send me some money to make up for my missing income.

exciting story # 6: questionnaire blues

2006-01-06T19:29:00.000+02:00

I've been working for Telder for a couple of weeks now and it's not as bad as I thought it would be. It's quite funny to have dozens of people on the phone in one night. I never thought there would be so many complete nutheads living in the Netherlands. Here's a small selection of the funny replies I've had last week:

me: I'm .... I work for.....can I ask you some questions?
resp.: No, I'm deaf.

me: What's your ethnic background?
resp.: female
me: No, I asked you what's your ethnic background.
resp.: Ow, I'm sorry, I'm single.

me: have you ever travelled by TGV?
resp.: No, I'm afraid of flying.

me: What's your monthly income?
resp.: No idea, I never check my account.

the next respondent clearly did not speak a lot of dutch:
Me: I'm... I work for...agency...research...questions?
resp: I didn't do anything! I didn't do it. Don't ask me questions! I didn't do it!!!

me: do you own a cell-phone?
resp: I don't know, I'll ask my husband.

The next guy was clearly a mommy's boy:
Me: What's your age?
resp.: i'm 62
me: Who's responsible for most of the groceries?
resp.: my mother (!!!!!)

me: why do you do most of your grocerieshopping at AH?
resp.: They kicked me out of the ALDI.
me: why?
resp.: They say I stole a bottle of wine.
me: and, did you?
resp.: no, it was a bottle of sherry.

me: I'm...work for...can I ask you some questions.
resp.: sure, but I don't think I'll be a lot of help.
me: and why's that?
resp.: I'm 103 years old.

You see, being a callcenter employee isn't that bad as long as all crazy people keep anwering their phones.

exciting story #5 my lousy job

2005-12-15T22:54:00.000+02:00

Since I live in a room that is so expensive I can hardly afford it, I need to work at least 15 hours a week. My work in the supermarket covers only 10 hours a week so I needed to find another job on the side. After browsing the papers for a month, I decided to go where all students in need of instant cash go: Telder. Telder is a company that interviews consumers by phone. Consumers usually don't exactly enjoy this kind of tele-terrorism so as an employee of Telder you are bound to have people yelling, swearing and cursing at you at least twice an hour. Every shift lasts 4 hours so mathematics tells us that every shift you get verbally harassed 8 times. The minimal amount of shifts you have to take a week is 2 so as an employee of Telder you get at least 16 cases of being verbally abused a week. To help employee's cope with this they should probably have a qualified psychiatrist on site. Since this is quite costly, they have simply decided to accept the fact that every employee only lasts about three months (and then goes off to seek counseling). This means that they have a huge amount of vacant positions to fill up every week. This means that they will hire about every moron they find on their doorstep and this means that I was officially hired this afternoon. My work starts on tuesday so wish me luck. And if anyone knows a good psychiatrist, give me a call 'cause i'll be needing him within a few weeks.

exciting story #4 What's growing in my kitchen?

2005-12-01T11:11:00.000+02:00

It was a sunny monday morning not very long ago. For some reason I woke up remarkably early that day and decided to clean my entire 14m2 of living-space. I started out with my kitchen cabinets since they were the only items which I could not remember cleaning before. I took out my entire stock of food, empty wine-bottles (I only drink in weekends but I tend to extend weekend limits up till tuesday and start weekends on wednesday), cooking equipment and all sorts of things I couldn't remember to be the proud owner of. I cleaned the entire cabinet and put my things back. The cabinets shone bright in the early sunlight, they had never smelled fresher. It therefore came as a shock to discover a foul smell coming out of my cabinet a week later. The horrible smell kept me from working, eating and sleeping for a day before I decided to take action. I took out all my stuff again but couldn't find the source of the stench. It reminded me of the AFO invasion a few weeks earlier (exciting story #3) and I started to think that the bugs from outer space had left something growing in my kitchen cabinet. The stench is still there. It comes and goes from time to time but I can live with it thanks to my "brise ocean fresh"spray. Now the question arises: what was it that the bugs from outer space left growing in my cabinets? It has to be invisible since there is nothing but cooking equipment in there.If any of you have had any experience with this kind of terrorism or you have an idea of what could cause my cabinets to smell so foul, please contact me.

Exciting story #3 AFO's from outer space

2005-12-01T11:09:00.000+02:00

As some of you (you know who you are) have pointed out, it has been a while since I wrote my last exciting story. This, of course, has had nothing to do with the fact that nothing exciting has happened to me in the past few weeks. The lack of time has been solely responsible for my deafening silence.The story I want to share with you today is about the unwanted guests we had in this house about two weeks ago. It started out with just one pretty large fly in my room. I tried to ignore it for a while but quickly decided that my room simply wasn't big enough to share it with a Annoying Flying Object (hence called AFO). The AFO played hard to get but eventually I managed to smash it and it instantly became part of my wall. I went back to business as usual and for a while all was quiet on Bakerstreet. A few days later I went to take a shower and I noticed no less than three AFO's. I took care of this invasion by smashing all AFO's out of the window. I started wondering where all these bugs could come from since our house was as clean as could be after we got rid of the dead rat in the loundryroom.I wasn't the only one in the house with a bug-problem. My downstairs neighbours came home after a weekend away and found a welcome home-committee existing of a frightening amount of AFO's. It became clear to us that this called for drastic measures so on a chilly monday morning we set out to exterminate all AFO's in the house. We started with the loundryroom and as soon as we opened the door we were attacked by dozens of AFO's. After smashing the better part of them we cleaned out the room with chlorine. Within an hour we killed as many as 60 AFO's. After this ordeal we found the house heavenly quiet without the constant buzzing of AFO's and again, all was quiet on Bakerstreet.We never found the exact source of the invasion. Here are some theories we have come up with:1) There had been a small but significant piece of dead rat left in the laundryroom. 2) Someone had not done any dishes for a month.3) The AFO's just liked our house.4) Someone invited the AFO's.5) They came in peace from outer space and thought we would host them for a while.I tend to go for the last option since:1) The dead rat was in one piece when we got rid of it.2) We are very tidy people so we do our dishes at least once a week.3) There are better houses in the neighbourhood for AFO's to live in.4) Who would be stupid enough to invite guests that don't clean up after themselves?

exciting story #2 the anti-pisser swat

2005-09-26T22:50:00.000+03:00

Last weekend I went to the scout-in, a weekend-long congres/party for dutch scout-leaders and staff. I worked in the scoutshop all weekend and had a real blast selling all kinds of neat stuff to (mostly) really, really nice people. The nights were a bit rough since the last party-people stopped yelling and singing around the same time the first people of the housekeeping staff entered the field to clean up after them. Also, I encountered a phenomenon completely new to me: the 'let's have a wee on someone else's tent man'(hence called 'pisser'). There sure were a lot of those pissers around because everytime I walked on the backside of the scoutshop-tent I spotted at least three of them urinating in unison (synchronised pissers) on our shiny tent. At first I thought that someone accidentally put a toilet sign on our shop but that wasn't the case. Fact was that the nearest toilet was about 50 metres away and most men found it difficult to walk such a distance with a full bladder.
To save our shop from the pissers, three of the shop's staffmembers, including myself, decided to form a anti-pisser swat (hence called the s.o.t.t. (save our tent team)). Armed with a maglite (4D, for pro's) and a whistle (fox 40 for pro's) we guarded the tent and attacked any pisser around. The procedure was quite simple: we would capture our victim in the beam of the maglite and then run towards him while whistling. This procedure proved very effective: most pissers ran away with the gear hanging out or froze in shock. Unfortunately for the pissers, we were bored very quickly so we had to come up with an upgrade for our procedure. We started measuring the pissers private parts and compare them with maglites (mini, D, 2D, 3D etc.) The majority of the pissers found this new kind harassment quite threatening so within a few minutes they were all gone and left us unemployed.
All in all I had a great weekend and to all men I say: before you have a wee, look around you and if you see three ladies with a large flashlight, give up and find the nearest toilet. Beware of the anti-pisser swat!

Exciting story #1

2005-09-07T18:22:00.000+03:00

Since I haven't come up with an exciting story just jet (and since nobody has felt the urge to comment on my introduction), I'm forced to take drastic measures. This means that I'll have to tell you about my experiences in this world full of digital obstacles. For a digitally challenged person, such as myself, this world can be overwhelming, frightning, frustrating and challenging at the same time. It seems that even simple everyday actions require skills digitally challenged people don't have (and will never have (for all that matters)). For instance: I received a letter from my bank last week in which they told me that from now on I am forced to use internet banking. This causes several problems for me. The first problem is that I don't understand HOW it works. The second problem seems to be that I don't understand WHEN it works (I have paid my rent twice this month because I thought it didn't work properly the first time I tried it). The third problem is that IF it works, I can't make it STOP working. I am now paying my insurance fees every week instead of every month and I have no clue how to make it stop. I'm about an inch of being completely broke for this month and it seems that I have accidentally extended my creditline so I will probably be broke for the months to come unless ANYONE helps me with my little bankingproblems.

Welcome

2005-09-01T13:42:00.000+03:00

Welcome to my brand new weblog. I hope to be posting exciting stories soon but until then, this minor introduction will have to do. My name is Femke, I'm 24 years old and a student of the Utrecht University in the Netherlands. I like books, movies and coffee. I dislike vegetables, people living like vegetables and tea. Seems to me that you now know enough of me so until the exciting stories come, you'll just have to find something else to do.